Tammy J Cohen: featured on Parenting Teens Today Podcast

Harnessing Technology to Strengthen Parent-Teen Bonds: How Texting Helped Me Connect Deeply with My Sons

As parents, many of us have looked at our teens, lost in their screens, and wondered how to reach them. The digital world can sometimes feel like a wall between us and our kids. But what if that very wall could become a bridge? What if technology—so often seen as a barrier—could actually become one of our greatest tools for heartfelt connection?

That’s the journey I found myself on as a mom, author, and communicator. My path to deeper connection with my sons began in a place many parents know well: a desire to be present, even when life—and technology—seemed to be pulling us in opposite directions.

Why I Turned to Texting as a Bridge

During the pandemic shutdowns, like many parents, I was searching for ways to stay connected with my sons in a time of distance and uncertainty. What started as simple daily text messages quickly evolved into something transformative—a consistent thread of love, empathy, and encouragement that began reshaping our relationship.

Those short messages became more than words on a screen; they were touchpoints of reassurance, a way to remind my kids, “I see you. I believe in you. I love you.” Over time, these texts turned into a new rhythm of communication—a safe space where my sons could feel supported without pressure to respond or perform.

I realized that instead of fighting against technology, I could use it as a bridge to meet my children where they already are. Teens live in the digital space; it’s their language. By stepping into that world with openness and intention, we can transform how we connect.

Infusing Emotion into Every Message

When I began sending texts, I didn’t want them to just be quick reminders or logistical updates. I wanted every message to carry emotional weight—words that spoke to love, worth, resilience, and hope.

I often wrote messages that affirmed their value:

“You are loved. You are enough. I’m proud of who you’re becoming.”

These weren’t grand speeches, but daily drops of encouragement that built emotional strength over time. Interestingly, this practice didn’t just change how my sons saw themselves—it also changed me. It deepened my empathy, rewired my reactions, and reminded me that parenting isn’t about perfection; it’s about presence.

The Power of Intention

It might seem simple—just sending a text—but the real magic lies in the intention. Every message is an act of love. It’s a moment of saying, “I’m thinking of you,” without expectation of response.

One of the most powerful ways to begin is with vulnerability. Sometimes I’d send a message that said:

“Hey, I realize I didn’t always listen well when you needed me. I’m working on that.”

This kind of honesty opens doors. It tells your teen that you’re human, too, and that your love is unconditional—not earned by behavior, but freely given.

Each message becomes a small act of grace, an invitation for deeper trust. Over time, these texts can become a foundation of security—something your teen can look back on and know, no matter what, my parent is here for me.

Empathy in the Digital Age

We often talk about empathy as listening or being present face-to-face, but I’ve learned it can also live inside a text message. It’s not about the platform—it’s about the heart behind it.

Even with all the distractions our teens face—social media, academics, friendships—our consistency and compassion can cut through the noise. When we show up with empathy, over and over, we’re teaching our kids how to do the same. We’re modeling love that listens, grace that grows, and connection that lasts.

When There’s Silence: Trust the Process

Many parents ask me what to do if their teen doesn’t respond. My answer: keep going. Connection is not always immediate—it’s cultivated. Some of my most meaningful breakthroughs came long after I sent a message, when one of my sons would bring up something I had texted weeks earlier.

Every message, even the ones met with silence, plants a seed. Trust that those seeds will grow.

And remember, it’s okay to use the platform they’re most comfortable with—whether that’s text, Snapchat, or another app. What matters is not the medium, but your willingness to meet them in their world.

Bringing It All Together

Technology doesn’t have to be the enemy of connection—it can be the avenue that brings us closer. By blending empathy with intention, and consistency with compassion, we can create digital spaces that nurture love and trust.

If you’re a parent who’s ready to deepen your connection with your teen, start small. Send one heartfelt message today. Don’t worry about the perfect words—just speak from love. Over time, those little moments add up to something lasting and powerful.

We are all learning as we go, and that’s okay. Parenting is a journey of growth—for us as much as for our children. Let’s keep showing up with open hearts, willing to listen, learn, and love in new ways.

Together, we can build bridges that last a lifetime—one message at a time.

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